yoga

I've always been a pretty active person, and I still work out at the gym as much as I can. I've worked out with a trainer, taken classes, lifted weights, done Pilates, circuit training, aerobics, Jazzercise (remember that!?), step classes, jogging, hiking, pretty much everything but skiing. Two things I don't do: ski, and clean house, but that's another story.

Prior to my MS diagnosis, I knew that there was some pretty wacky and random stuff going on with my body. The suggestion came from friends that I should try yoga to help put my body back in balance. Sure! Let's do that!

Generally, I am not the kind of person who does much research once I get a bug in my bonnet. I leap faithfully out of the plane and say "oh! Was I supposed to have a parachute? Who knew!" Yoga was no different. I went down to my local Yoga and You, A New Way of Life, or whatever it was called, unrolled my new pink yoga mat and prepared to become balanced.

Balance is a key word here, as those of us with MS know. I can only look at the stars from flat on my back, fall into giggling fits every time I try to walk with my eyes closed, and can walk a straight line and end up across the street. And, as anyone with MS can attest to, heat is not our friend, particularly when it comes to balance.

Now, if I'd done any research at all, I'd have realized that Birkham was not the name of the instructor, or the owner of the yoga studio. Instead, I began to stretch and bend along with about 10 other very stretchy and bendable people. I feel a little bit awkward, but ok. The room is nice and toasty which I find sort of soothing, initially. Then the instructor has us stand on one foot with the other bent up to our knee. This did not go well for me, but I keep trying. The room starts to get even warmer. I must really be working myself out! Even though it doesn't seem that tough, I'm sweating like a pig!

She instructs us to stand on one foot and lean forward with the other leg extended behind. Ok, maybe not so much for me. Then, switch that pose with a little leap. Ha ha! I don't think so! Now downward dog and lift another leg! By now, she's figured out I must be new, so she guides me to the wall and tells me to lean against that - many newbies have a problem with these advanced class poses. Advanced class!? How did I manage to get into an advanced class and why IS IT SO HOT!?

By the time things wind down and we're just standing there with our hands in front us doing a namaste thing, I can't even stand on two feet. I'm sagging against the wall, sweat pouring off of me, unable to walk.  I feel like a noodle that's been sucked out of a soggy bowl of soup. The last thing I feel is balanced.

I slither along the wall towards the door. The instructor sings out to me in her calm, serene, oh-so- invigorated voice "See you next week! It gets easier with practice!" I wouldn't know. Hell will freeze over before I go see Mr. Birkham again, and bad as I might be, I'm not going there. It's too hot.